Nerima Law
by Montanto
Summary: Another alternate take on Ranma 1/2 same story different venue.


Nerima Law. Chapter 1

As of 7:45, it was promising to be a beautiful day in Nerema, Washington. The rain, which had been sporadic for most of the morning, had finally stopped. If someone were to look to the west, across the bay, one could see clearing in the mountains. It had been raining earlier, that morning, but now it had stopped and one could see clearing, to the west over the mountains. Pedestrian traffic had begun to build, as people began to head to work, and put their umbrellas away. There was a feeling of peace in the air that was almost tranquil.

This mood, was shattered as a short young woman, with long red hair tied in a braid, wearing an ill-fitting red polo shirt, black dockers, and carrying a large backpack, a pair of patent leather shoes, and an attaché case, dashed down the sidewalk. She ran barefoot, as it was obvious the shoes she carried were several sizes too large for her. People jumped out of her way in a panic, barely avoiding her, as she went by. The way she was running, one would think the Devil, himself, was after her. It turned out to be a giant panda, running on it's hind legs, wearing a loud tie. 

For such a large fat creature, the Panda gained on her with amazing speed. As soon as she saw there was no chance of escape, she stopped. Nonchalantly crossing her arms, she turned to face it. The Panda, nearly twice her size, towered over her. Unimpressed, she stood her ground and returned the large beast's stare. People, around them, let their shock and fear be replaced by curiosity. A crowd quickly gathered. "This is all your fault, you know," she said in a calm, cold manner. "Arranging a marriage? Without telling me? I can think of a dozen precedents that would throw this nonsense out in a heartbeat. What in the world makes you think you have the right to force this on me?"

The Panda bear produced a signed document out of nowhere and waved it in front of her. She sniffed. "Yeah, right. That will really hold up in court. I'm going back to China, whether you like it or not."

As she turned to walk away, the Panda produced a sign, with the words "WHAT IS NECESSARY IS LEGAL" written in sloppy letters, and hit her over the head with it. She slumped to the ground unconscious. 

The Panda picked her up and hoisted her over its shoulder. It growled at the growing crowd, which quickly dispersed. It turned, lumbered to the curb, and hailed a cab. 

* * * * * * * * *

Soun Tendou Esq., Senior Partner at Tendou and Associates, looked out at the Nerima skyline, as he sipped his coffee, from his office on the 34th floor of the Takahashi Tower. The morning mail and paper had just arrived, and he began to sort through it. A water stained postcard with a picture of a Panda bear caught his attention. China? He thought to himself, looking at the return address. Who do I know in China? As he read the post card, his eyes bulged with excitement.

"Coming with Ranma. .... Saotome" 

"At last. Ranma. Finally, Ranma is coming." Soun whispered to himself. 

All of his life Soun Tendou had prided himself on his sensitivity. There was not a single jury that he couldn't sway with a mere shed tear. This time he bawled.

"Kasumi!" He shouted, as he dashed out of his office. "Kasumi!"

Kasumi Tendou, Soun's oldest daughter and personal secretary, looked up from the computer at her desk just outside Soun's office. Father looked very emotional today she thought as she made a mental note to switch him to decaf.

"What is it, Father?" She asked. She generally expected the worst whenever he was in this state. 

"Cancel all morning appointments. I'm calling a family meeting." Soun said, barely able to contain his excitement.

"Are you quite sure? I mean the Henderson case is..." Kasumi began.

'This is more important then the," Soun broke in. He paused for a second, thinking. "Oh well. Put Jenkins on it. The kid needs the experience."

Kasumi decided not to comment, on how her father intended an intern to deal with what was essentially an open and shut case for the district attorney, and started to call her sisters' offices.

* * * * * * * * *

Nabiki Tendou, the firm's corporate law specialist and office manager, put down the ledger she had been studying and picked up the phone. 

"Yeah Sis what is it?" She asked.

"Nabiki? Could you come to the boardroom? Father's scheduled another family meeting. ." Kasumi said as cheerfully as possible. 

Nabiki groaned. "Did you mention to Daddy that some of us have other things to do with our day besides working on our putts?" She asked.

"Nabiki."

Nabiki sighed. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't argue with her big sister. "All right, all right I'm coming." She grumbled. 

"Oh good. Oh, and Nabiki? Could you go find Akane? She's turned off her pager again." Kasumi asked, as her sister hung up. 

* * * * * * * * *

Akane Tendou arrived at Tendou & Associates at 8:15. She was dressed in her designer sweatsuit, and was only slightly out of breath. She always jogged to work, and since she never scheduled any appointments before. 10:00 she had more than enough time to freshen up. "Morning, Akari," she said to, the receptionist. 

The receptionist looked up from her work, and smiled brightly. "Oh, good morning, Ms. Tendou. How are you? This just came for you by courier I think it's from Mr. Gosunkuki." She handed a large manila envelope to Akane. 

Akane took the envelope with a big grin. "All right! This must be the stuff he's been working on, for the Kowalski Case. I've been waiting for this. Thanks, Akari!" With that she ran to her office. 

Akane could barely contain her excitement as she tore open the envelope. As she leafed through the contents, the folder it had held, she began to smile. "This is good. This is really good." She chuckled to herself. The little Private Investigator had done well. She had hoped that Gosunkuki would be able to get enough dirt to give her some leverage against Kowalski at their next meeting. But this? The bastard would have to settle out of court!

Akane put her hand on her heart, and sighed to herself, feeling the flush she always got in the wake of victory.

"Bravo, bravo. Chill out a bit Kid, it's no wonder the boys at Von's think you're weird." A voice from the door said, sarcastically. 

Akane turned to look at the woman, who sent chills down the spines of any rational person in the field. "Some people don't think that the world revolves around men, Nabiki." She sniffed. 

"Is that a fact? Well, then, I guess Daddy's announcement won't interest you then." Nabiki said coolly, as she turned to the boardroom.

What? Thought Akane puzzled. 

* * * * * * * * *

Soun smiled, as all three of his daughters entered the boardroom and took their places around the table. Nabiki let her icy facade drop just enough to show signs of mild irritation. Akane stewed. Kasumi as usual, was completely unfazed by everything, she smiled sweetly, as she poured everyone coffee, and brought out a plate of homemade cookies.

"So, Daddy. What's so important that we have to throw our entire day's schedules out the window? Nabiki asked. 

Soun laughed. "I have wonderful news. Tendou and Associates is taking on a new senior partner. He's an old friend, and sparring partner of mine, his name is Genma Saotome." One could almost hear the silence in the room. 

As usual Akane broke the silence. "What!? We bust our asses to get our positions in the firm. You're the one who keeps saying that you will not tolerate anything even hinting at nepotism and you just let an old friend just waltz in out of the blue and just let him claim his high ranking position, just like that?"

"Got to admit Daddy, the kids got a point." Nabiki said calmly. 

Soun smiled nervously. For a minute he wondered if this was a good time to mention the engagement. However, common sense had never slowed Soun Tendou before, and he continued. 

"He, and his son, Ranma, have been studying law in China with a little martial arts training on the side. And as a gesture of sealing the arrangement of our partnership we..." Soun took a deep breath and quickly muttered something that he prayed the others would not understand. 

"What was that, Daddy? I'm not sure I caught that," Nabiki said facetiously.

"I think he said something about us being engaged to Ranma" Kasumi said. As his personal secretary, she was used to having to translate her father's hysterical ranting into legible English. Soun grinned sheepishly. 

"You got us engaged with as complete stranger, without asking us first?" Akane demanded. "That is so turn of the century, Daddy, how could you even think of."

"Is he cute?" Nabiki interrupted with a predatory grin.

"I hope he's older. Younger men bore me." Kasumi said, looking very concerned. 

"Would you two listen to yourselves," Akane shouted. 

Soun laughed. "Actually I have no idea. You see, I've never seen him in my life."

"What!?" Akane and Nabiki shouted. Kasumi looked shocked. 

Before the two younger Tendou sisters were able to do their father any bodily harm the phone rang. Kasumi picked it up. "Yes, Akari, what is it?" She asked. 

"I'm sorry, Kasumi. I know Mr. Tendou said that he wasn't to be disturbed but there's ...... a Panda Bear to see him.

"I see." Kasumi said calmly. "I'm sure I would have remembered scheduling a Panda bear. Tell it that it will have to wait." She hung up the phone. "Don't tell me you're taking on a Panda bear as a senior partner Father." She said sternly. Soun shook his head frantically. From the lobby one could hear growling and high-pitched screaming. 

"Oh sure. Pandas come by every day for legal advice." Nabiki said sarcastically. Soun continued to shake his head.

"I'm calling security." Akane said, reaching for the phone, as the screaming and cursing got louder. 

Suddenly the door burst open. The Panda, carrying a kicking, screaming and swearing redhead, entered the boardroom. The Panda put her down. Soun looked down at her. "Who are you?" he asked hesitantly. 

The small redhead looked up slightly embarrassed. "Ranma Saotome" She said. "Sorry about this. 

"Ranma! At last you've come!" Soun shouted as he grabbed Ranma in a massive bear hug. He suddenly noticed something strange about his potential son in law. Quickly he pushed her back noticing her substantial bust. 

Nabiki got up to see what her father was staring at. "Well guys I guess we don't have to worry about the engagement after all. Ranma's not exactly good husband material." She said as she poked Ranma in the breast. Soun fainted. 

* * * * * * * * *

Soun woke up lying on his office sofa with his daughters, the young redheaded woman, and the Panda sitting over him. Kasumi put another ice pack on his forehead. "Well this is another fine mess, Daddy," said Nabiki coldly. "It's bad enough that you bring up the fiancée nonsense at all... but this." She gestured at Ranma. "This is insulting."

"I don't understand" Soun murmured. "Saotome said he had a son."

"Son?" Nabiki asked, pointing at Ranma's chest "Does that look like a son to you?" 

"Hey watch it." Ranma said defensively. 

"Nabiki, be polite. He, ah, she is our guest." Said Akane. She turned to Ranma with a smile on her face and stuck out her hand. "I'm Akane. I' really sorry about Dad's behavior, he tends to get a little," she paused for a second, grasping for the right word, excited. So, any way come on we can do something together." She grabbed Ranma by the wrist, and virtually dragged Ranma out of Soun's office. 

Akane stopped at her office. "I just have to make a few phone calls. Just sit down and make yourself comfortable. " 

* * * * * * * * *

" A few phone calls" turned out to be an hour long argument with someone named Kowalski who after having had a number of photographs faxed to his office agreed to settle unconditionally out of court and apologize personally to Akane's clients. Ranma was able to watch this fascinating display, until two clients came in for consultation, when she found herself forced to retreat the lobby. Ranma had just finished committing all of the magazines available to memory when Akane, having finished her appointments, came out again. 

"Sorry about that" She said "But I had to put that bastard in his place before he got any more ideas. And then, well, you know how it goes." She paused and smiled. "Say do you do sports? I can take you to my club". Ranma smiled politely and nodded. "I heard Daddy say something about you doing martial arts. Kempo?" Ranma nodded again. That is so cool. We can spar together! I haven't had a decent sparring partner since...." Akane laughed sheepishly remembering that embarrassing incident. "Well come on. It'll be fun!"

* * * * * * * * *

"At least I kicked your ass in racquetball" Akane said trying to sound smug, on their way home to the Tendou estate. Ranma sniffed. 

"Oh yeah, Racquetball. It must be a relief for you to have some talents." 

"Hey I said you were good, okay? You don't have to gloat. Anyway, I'm glad you're not a guy."

"Huh? Why?" Ranma asked looking nervous all of a sudden. 

"Oh, nothing, nothing. It's just that I'd hate to be beaten by a man." Akane sniffed. 

Ranma looked pensive. Before she could say anything, the cab pulled in at the Tendou estate. "Well here we are, Ches Tendou." She smiled as she hopped out of the car. Say, we have a Hot tub in the back I'll meet you there. 

Ranma shuddered "Ah, no. Thanks but I don't really want to impose and..."

"Nonsense there's nothing like a good soak after a work out. See you in a few minutes." 

* * * * * * * * *

Nabiki stood at the doorway, between the kitchen and the living room, watching her father and his guest. She turned to Kasumi, who was getting a bottle of cabernet out of the refrigerator. "Any idea who the old guy with Dad is?" She asked.

Kasumi shook her head "Not a clue. I've never seen him before."

Nabiki nodded, "me neither. Funny though I know I've seen that tie before." She said pensively.

* * * * * * * * *

Soun sat in his favorite chair next to the fireplace. He stared at his old friend, as tears streaking down his face.

His guest was a large heavyset man, in his late 50s, wearing steel rimmed glasses, and covered his head in a handkerchief. He wore the same loud necktie as the panda. 

"So that is it" Said Soun. "The legal path is fraught with peril." His friend nodded in agreement. 

* * * * * * * * *

"Let's see, what to do, what to do." The person, soaking in the Jacuzzi, muttered. "They're going to find out eventually, so I might as well come out like this but" Any train of thought was interrupted by someone else coming out, onto the patio.

"Hey Ranma! Water hot enough?" 

Akane stood, in front of the Jacuzzi, wearing her fluffy pink bathrobe, and nothing else. She was just about to slip it off when she saw young man with long black hair tied in a familiar pigtail dressed only in his birthday suit climb out of the hot tub. 

They stared at each other for almost a minute. Akane calmly pulled her bathrobe back on and walked back into the house. Once inside she took a deep breath and screamed. 

* * * * * * * * *

Soun, and his friend, were toasting each other, when Akane rushed into the den. They barely got their drinks out of the way before she lifted the coffee table up over her head. "I'm going to beat him senseless!" She shouted. "I'm going to drown him!"

"Akane. What on earth is the matter?" Kasumi asked, as she came out of the kitchen, with Nabiki, carrying a tray of ice water.

"There's a pervert in the hot tub! I'm going to kill him!" Akane said. 

"Gee Sis. Why don't you just strangle him with your bare hands?" Nabiki said sarcastically eyeing the coffee table. 

"Because I'm frightened. Okay?" 

"Oh my." Said Kasumi. "Ranma's in the hot tub right now I hope she's alright." 

"Ah. Hello." A voice from the doorway said. Every one turned to see a handsome young man dressed in Ranma's Polo shirt, dockers and patent leather shoes. They fit him perfectly. 

"Yes? Who are you?" Asked Kasumi. 

"I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this." Said the man.

* * * * * * * * *

With some difficulty, Kasumi and Nabiki managed to calm Akane down. She glared at the two men from across the room. The older man sat passively, while the younger man, who claimed HE was Ranma, fidgeted constantly, embarrassed by the whole affair. Soun smiled at his daughters. "Now," he said. "Let's try this again from the beginning. This," he said slapping a hand on the older man's shoulder, "is my dear friend."

"Genma Saotome," the older man broke in, "and this is my SON." 

"Ranma" The younger man finished. 

Nabiki and Kasumi glanced at each other in disbelief. "How is that possible?" Nabiki asked, skeptically, turning to Ranma, looking him over. "For one thing, you're too tall."

"Yes are you really her?" Kasumi asked. Genma rubbed his temples thinking. He reached down, and picked up his glass of water and tossed the contents into Ranma's face. Ranma instantly shrunk, turning into the red haired woman who had arrived at Tendou & Associates, earlier that day. The others gasped in amazement.

"Hey! What's the big idea?" She demanded. 

Genma shook his head, tears streaking from his eyes. "Oh my son, the humiliation." Ranma glared at her father, grabbed the water pitcher, from the coffee table, and dumped the contents over him. Immediately, he transformed into the Panda.

"Yeah, like you should talk," she said. The panda got up from it's chair, growling. Ranma stood in a defensive stance, ready for anything. 

"Please stop." Kasumi said, sweetly, breaking in before they had a chance to come to blows. "It's bad enough that you are throwing water around, but I will not have anyone fighting inside the house." 

"He started it." Ranma protested, pointing at the panda. Kasumi said nothing, and stared at her, right in the eyes. Ranma suddenly realized that she did not want to argue with Kasumi, or in a million years, do anything that could, in any way, disappoint Kasumi. She shut up and sat down. 

The Panda made a series of grunting noises, that was probably the giant panda equivalent of laughter. Kasumi turned to it and repeated the treatment. A bead of sweat trickled down the Panda's fore head. It sat down, not wanting to be a bother anymore. 

Kasumi turned to her father. Her angelic face did not show a hint of her exasperation. "Father," she asked, slightly concerned. Why are you friends with these," she paused, trying valiantly to come up with an appropriate term that would not offend, "two," she asked finally. 

"This is actually a recent development." Said Soun. "They were attending a series of conferences in Beijing which ended a few weeks early, due to a political misunderstanding. They used this extra time to check out some of the martial arts training grounds. The last stop of their tour was the valley of Jusenkyo, in the Qinghai province, of China. There were hundreds of pools. Each had a tragic tale of something, or someone, drowning in it. If someone falls into a pool they take the form of whatever drowned there. I don't think I have to explain what happened. Unfortunately, this phenomenon is fairly well documented, and the valley claims no responsibility for any training accidents." Soun paused. "It's really quite amazing," he said "I've heard stories, of course, but only now is the valley's true horror apparent."

"What do you mean true horror?" Ranma growled. Livid with anger, he grabbed his father by the lapels. "You idiot!" He shouted. "What in the world possessed you take us to those springs in the first place?" This is all your fault. I mean, you didn't even look at the fine print on the release form the guide made us sign! Like you could read a word of Chinese to begin with!" 

"That's enough" Soun said, before the pair could come to blows. "If I remember the stories, hot water restores you" He produced a teakettle and poured it over Genma, returning him to human form. 

"It doesn't have to be that hot." Genma said, wincing.

"And hot water turns you into a man." Soun said, attempting to pour the rest of the water on Ranma. 

"Hot water! Not boiling!" Ranma shouted, jumping out of the way. 

"Ah. Well." Said Soun, stroking his mustache. " Your problem isn't as bad as you think. Here are my daughters. Kasumi is age 29, Nabiki is 27, and Akane is 26. Choose any one you like and she will be your fiancée. 

"Now wait a minute. What legal authority do you have to force two consenting adults into..."

"Oh, he wants Akane." Kasumi said cheerfully as she grabbed her sister by the shoulders. 

"Oh yes, definitely." Nabiki said, with a smile patting Akane on the back. 

"What?" Akane demanded. "Me? Marry that pervert?" 

"Hey. What do you mean by pervert?" Ranma demanded. 

"You looked at my body!" Akane shouted. 

"What? You walked in on me with your robe open." 

"It's different with women." Akane stammered.

"Oh? How?"

"It, it just is okay?"

"They're acting like a couple already. Genma said, to Soun, gleefully.

"He's a couple by himself" Said Akane. 

"I don't have to take this." Ranma muttered, getting up to leave. 

"Ranma. Where are you going?" Genma demanded. 

"Back to China to get a cure. This is no time for engagements." Ranma said. She paused and turned to Akane. "Oh by the way. It's no big deal for me to look at a woman. I mean, I've seen myself plenty of times." She pointed to her bust for emphasis. "And I'm more stacked then you'll ever be." She burst out laughing until Akane Hit her over the head with the coffee table. 

"Now that he had coming." Genma said wincing just a little. 

* * * * * * * * *

Ranma sat in Genma's new office at Tendou and Associates. He was dressed in a black suit, with a red silk shirt, and black tie. Genma was dressed in a white outfit, in a desperate attempt to emulate Tom Wolfe. His awful choice in neckties destroyed the effect. He completely ignored his son, as he went over new client files. . 

"An Associate!?" Ranma shouted He rubbed his jaw, still a bit sore from a third encounter with Akane that had happened later night. 

"Well. We can't make you a full partner immediately. And this gives you a chance to learn the ropes." Genma said, calmly looking up from his paperwork. 

"You'll be going, to court, with Akane today". Said Nabiki, sticking her head into Genma's office, and taking a sip from her latte. I'll be there too. Be seeing you." 

"Wait a minute Nabiki." Akane called, as she ran down the corridor to catch her sister. "I'll go with you." 

Nabiki cocked an eyebrow. "With Moi? Ranma's your fiancée remember? Go with him." 

"He is not my fiancée." Akane shouted.

"If you say so, Kid. I know he isn't mine. Ciao." Nabiki slung her briefcase over her shoulder and walked down the hallway. Akane watched her leave, her fists clenched in frustration. She turned, and glared at Ranma. Ranma stared back at her. 

* * * * * * * * *

Akane's jeep tore out of the drive way with a screech. There were several hazards of life in Nerima. Drugs and crime were among them, but all these paled before the driving of Akane Tendou. Akane scowled as she drove through down town Nerima, at 70 miles per hour. For a few minutes she said nothing, and concentrated on the road. "We're not married you know," she said, finally. "When we get to court, I don't want to hear a word about the engagement, from you. As far as the world is concerned, we are strangers, who just happen to be working together."

Ranma nodded in agreement at the moment he was to busy holding onto the armrests for dear life to make any snide remarks. The way that Akane dodged and swerved, breaking several traffic ordinances, made him fear for his life for the first time in years. 

"Blasted roadhogs. I'm going to be late again." Akane swore, as they pulled up in front of Furinkun Courthouse. "Now we're going to be dealing with a routine moving violations case. Just keep your mouth shut, and do what I tell you." Akane's seized a parking place like a lioness pouncing on a gazelle. "Come on hurry up. We've got to get inside before. Too late," she said as she got out of the jeep, dragging Ranma along with her. 

Several dozen reporters covered the steps of Furinkun. When they saw Akane they rushed down to meet her. "I thought you said, the case, was a routine traffic violation." Ranma asked.

"Shut up we've got to get through this Akane hissed. The reporters struck asking hundreds of questions that had absolutely nothing to do with traffic violations. Ranma watched in amazement as watched Akane brilliantly evade the questions by use of hearsay, evocation of the Fifth Amendment and misdirection. Marching up the stairs, in a brisk pace, she was able to provide answers for everyone, without telling them anything.

"I'm getting sick this" Akane said as they reached the top of the stairs. 

"Yes. The fifth estate does become tedious at times. I confess." Ranma and Akane turned to see a tall handsome man dressed impeccably in a tailored three-piece suit stride up the stairs. "But is not the freedom of the press and the First Amendment our most cherished right, fair Akane?" He paused and plucked a rose, seemingly out of thin air. "After all, they only wish to hear the beauty of your voice and the wisdom of your informed opinions." He continued, sniffing the rose. 

"Why Assistant District Attorney Kunou " Akane said, dripping with sarcasm. "What a pleasant surprise." 


End file.
